Things couldn't be worse ... 8 weeks till Morocco

2-21-2009

Today is an awful day. Elena left this morning for Rome and I am left all alone. I am working for two now. I woke early and made breakfast. I fed Peter and dressed him. I made Ludovica and Anna’s beds and helped them dress for ski school. Camilla left early to take Elena to the train station, so I was really alone. I cleaned up after the morning rush and barely had time to dress myself. Camilla returned and said Peter would play at his cousin’s this morning. Va bene.

I took Peter to the cousin’s house and we played until 12:30. I brought him home and fed him lunch. I put him in his bed to sleep. Camilla told me I had to change rooms because Federico will be coming and he does not want Peter in their room. Once Peter was in bed I moved all my belongings to the new room. I took off my old bed sheets and straightened the room. Anna came home from ski school at 3 p.m. I gave her a snack and played with her a while. Peter woke soon after and Camilla arrived at 3:30, Ludovica at 4.

Camilla made the girls start their homework. Peter was playing with some toys on the floor in the living room. I felt like I had nothing to do, so I began straightening the kitchen. It was about 5 o’clock in the afternoon. Camilla asked me why I was cleaning and said if I had nothing to so that she could think of plenty of chores for me. I was really surprised. She started giving me a full list of things to do. She said she was taking the girls to the cousin’s and I should stay with Peter.

The list went on and on …. Make dinner. She proceeds to tell me how to cook spinach. COME ON!!! Do laundry. Move all the children’s things to the other bathroom. I just lost it and started to cry. I have worked all day long. Who does she think she is? I couldn’t help it, I just started balling. She left and I completed the chores she gave me.

When she cam home, I thought she would be happy. I finished the laundry. I made dinner. I moved bathrooms all while watching a baby. She proceeded to tell me not to cook while I am watching Peter. SHE TOLD ME TO MAKE DINNER!!!! WTF???? I am a complete wreck. I can’t stop crying. What’s wrong with me. I am really tired. She starts listing all the things she expects from me. I have no idea where this is coming from.

I want to quit right now. I want to go home. I’ve had enough. She asks me why I did not clean my room. I DID clean my room. I ask her what she wanted me to do, mom the floor ?? (In a very respectful tone). She said it wouldn’t be a bad idea. She says that if I live in her house these are the things I have to do. I reply, “Camilla, I do everything you ask.” I went straight to the closet, grabbed a bucket and mop and went to clean the floor. She doesn’t like this either and says she doesn’t want me to mop the floor now.

This is when I realize that it is not my problem. Something must be going on with her. I did nothing wrong. A little while later she says she is going to get Ludo and Anna from her cousin’s house. I feed Peter dinner and set the table for her and the girls. When she comes home I go to my room and close the door. I cry and cry. When dinner is over, I go out and do the dishes. I feel like a slave. The girls are being really sweet. Ludo hugs me and Anna says, “Tess?? Pappa?? Mamma?” It helps a bit.

I woke up at 3 a.m. and was still crying.