Hotel Miami

3-11-2009

My Italian course finally started today. The school is on Via Nazionale and it's located in the same building as Hotel Miami. How fitting? I moved to Rome to visit Hotel Miami everyday. The class was great and I love the teacher. He is so cute. 

After the class, I returned home. I am spending way too much time on facebook and the Internet. I have decided that I really want to do something with all the photos I am taking. I was just playing around, but now it's serious. So, I am going to up the ante and go out with my camera instead of playing on the computer so much. I have to at least try. 

Camilla gave me an odd chore today. I had to take Peter to a terrace playground and give him and the other babies an English lesson. OK, fine by me. I spent the afternoon singing, "head, shoulders, knees and toes." How do you give an English lesson to a baby? I had the luxury of wheeling him home in the rain with no umbrella. He didn't mind the rain, and I guess it wasn't so bad. 

Camilla's grandmother was American. She makes the oddest dishes and tells me they are American simply because it was her grandmother's recipe. However, these dishes don't seem very American. What is American food anyway? Hot dogs and hamburgers. It is American to cook ethnic food. 

Shutter happy ...

3-10-2009

Rome is beautiful this week. Yesterday I went to the gardens and today I plan to do the same. I am enjoying this weather. Work is so relaxed in Rome and the days are getting longer. I dressed Peter in a short sleeve polo shirt and white tennis shoes today. So cute. Camilla took him to Borghese and that's where I'm headed next.

I reconnected with an old friend this week. I'm happy about that. However, I doubt we'll ever be the friends we once were. We'll see. I seem to think we should pick up right where we left off, but ...

I returned from the gardens. Camilla told me I did not need to start work until 4 p.m., but when I arrived the girls immediately demanded my attention. I have really bonded with them. I feel close to them now. Anna has started to give me small tokens of her affection. This makes me really happy. She has given me stickers, drawings and a key chain. Also, she wrote me an apology letter once after she hit me all on her own. Every time she gives me something, she says "brava ragazza" like she is my teacher or something.

The girls have become fascinated with my iPod. Ever since I googled Hello Kitty on the thing they grab it every chance they can get. Camilla likes that they google things on the Internet, so I let them play. They spent time in my room today looking through all my clothes and listening to music. They love all things girls and we play dress up. I showed them The Satorialist blog and we spent at least an hour evaluating everyone's outfits.

Camilla told me that the girls speak Italian to me like I speak Italian, with an American accent and everything. This is funny (and awful) because I speak English to Camilla the way she speaks to me. I always use the present tense and sometimes speak to her with an Italian accent. The accent is unintentional. It just happens. However, I did not dare confess this to her.

I have become obsessed with taking pictures. I have hundreds of photos of random people and beautiful spots in Rome. I can't leave the apartment without my camera. If I don't have the camera and I see something to photograph, I become upset to the point of tears. Now that spring is here I am completely shutter happy. I should publish a book and The Satorialist needs to hire me.

No boys allowed!

3-7-2009

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Rome. Also I was free today. I didn't have to work yesterday either and tomorrow no work as well! How did this happen two weekends in a row? I met Sarah this morning and we spent the day together. We basically just walked around and talked.

We roamed the streets surrounding Piazza Venezia and eventually made our way to Trastevere. We bought gelato in Piazza Santa Maria de Trastevere and walked around the neighborhood. I found the cutest house slippers made out of felt. They were shaped to look like little mice and so colorful, but they were really for children and so they didn't have my size. I was so bummed.

After Trastevere we went to Campo de Fiori. Sarah and I really just spent the day meandering in and out of shops. The plan was to catch a train back to Frascati and meet Snae for dinner and wine. We missed our 6 o'clock train to Frascati and I began to think we wouldn't make the 7 o'clock train either. I decided to pass on dinner and parted ways with Sarah. I took myself to a pizzeria for supper. I was starving.

It is safe to say that Rome has gotten under my skin. I love this city. Sometimes I walk the streets and start to cry because I feel it is so beautiful. I think this is so cheesy, but it's true. This happened to me tonight when I was walking from the Pantheon and saw a grotto painting of the mother and child. If women are revered anywhere in the world, it is in Italy. Speaking of reverence for women, tomorrow is international women's day. Of course, I have only ever known Italians to celebrate this holiday. I found this info online ----

Festa della Donna (International Women's Day) -- March 8: In Ancient Roman times, the year ended with February, and, in fact the Latin name of that month, Ferbruarius Mensis, meant something like "month of cleansing or finishing up" in preparation for the new year. February was followed by several intercalary days to get the calendar back on track, and then the new year began on March 1, which was also the first day of spring (primo vere). March 8 was one of the first of the springtime festae, a day sacred to Ariadne, whom Thesius had abandoned on the Island of Naxos after promising to marry her if she helped him slay her father's pet Minotaur. Seduced and abandoned, she was a prototype for ancient Mediterranean womanhood. She later married Bacchus, but that was a whole new adventure.

Before the Second World War, Women's Day had been celebrated on different days in early March in several Italian cities. In 1945, the Union of Italian Women decided to hold all celebrations and commemorations on March 8. However appropriate it would have been, they didn't have Ariadne in mind. In fact they were memorializing two events outside of Italy: a March 8, 1857, strike by women garment workers in New York, which led to the formation two years later of the first women's union in the United States, and a strike by Russian women calling for "bread and peace" on March 8, 1917 (February 23 on the old Russian calendar but March 8 in the rest of the world.)

Authorities don't agree how or why, but the custom started in Italy -- some sources say in Rome in 1946 -- of men giving their wives, mothers, daughters, and other women friends sprigs of bright yellow Mimosa flowers on March 8. Women have since also started to give Mimosa to each other. The flowers are intended as a sign of respect for the women and also an expression of solidarity with the women in their support for oppressed women worldwide. This mild year some Mimosa trees in Rome were already in bloom at the end of January, so there may not be much left by March 8. Other yellow flowers also carry the sentiment, if you can't find Mimosa.

Yellow Mimosa flowers are everywhere in Rome and spring is in the air. It was quite warm today and tomorrow should be beautiful weather as well. Of course Mother Earth granted beautiful, warm weather in Rome for Festa della Donna! Hehe. Men in Italy revere woman. Yes, the stereotype is true. It might also be true that Italian men are generally womanizers (I wouldn't know). As a woman, I enjoy this reverence. Every time I take a taxi, the taxi driver tells me I am beautiful. Tonight at the pizzeria, the man passed my tray over the counter, winked at me and said, "Carina." Talk about an ego boost. This happens all the time in Italy. It's like a man tells you you are beautiful and you just say, "Yeah, yeah. I know."

Tomorrow I plan to wake early and head to Trastevere for the Porte Portese market. I don't think I'll buy anything necessarily, but I always enjoy a market. After that I plan to lounge at the Borghese Gardens all day. I might venture to La Villa Glori. This is another garden in Rome within the Parioli district. I hear it's beautiful and someone told me there are pony rentals there. How strange? I dunno, I just want to bring a blanket and soak up some sun. I really hope tomorrow is as beautiful as it was today.

Not a lot going on

3-5-2009

The past few days have been a blur. Today is Thursday and I have not ventured into Rome at all this week. I know it is a waste, but I am tired, broke and the weather is really bad. It rains everyday in Rome. There are, however, signs that spring is looming in the near future. Some trees are beginning to flower and the air is warming.

Tuesday I took Ludovica to her Catholic class. The class is held at an elderly woman’s apartment. This apartment is by far the most fantastic, eccentric home I have visited in Italy (and I have seen some really nice homes). The place was stunning. Amazing, very old paintings on the walls, huge open spaces and fantastic antiques. I am no longer surprised to enter a fabulous Italian apartment. I think I would be more surprised to see something very common. Turns out the apartment belongs to Shelia’s aunt. Shelia is Mrs. X, mother to Francesco and Lorenzo.

Yesterday was very relaxed. Actually this entire week has almost seemed like a vacation compared to Cortina. I fetched the girls from school at 4:30 p.m. yesterday and brought them home. Of course they wanted to watch television immediately. Ludovica had to finish homework. I wanted to let her watch TV, but I knew Federico would be mad when he came home if she didn’t finish compiti (homework). So, I made her complete her Italian assignment, which was to write about what they did at school during the month of February.

Today, I have to pick the girls up at Shelia’s apartment at 5 p.m. and catch bus 926 to the swimming lesson. Ugh! I don’t know where Shelia lives and I am tired of finding new places. It shouldn’t be so bad. After navigating the streets of Rome with two small children, I feel like I can do anything.

This weekend should be fantastic. I have Friday, Saturday and Sunday free and the apartment all to myself. The family is traveling with Camilla’s parents to Tuscany and she asked if I preferred to stay home. My answer was, “Yes. Please.” I have plans to go wine tasting with Sarah and Snae in Frascati on Saturday. They live in Frascati and it’s supposedly a famous wine town 30 minutes outside of Rome. On Sunday I am taking a day tour to Naples and Pompeii. I am excited about that! Friday I will consult Roma c’e to see what there is to do. Anything free will be good.

The Internet at the house keeps going down in the mornings. This is a major bummer. What could be the problem? It’s probably the rainy weather. I get really anxious when there is no Internet. I get sick worrying that it will never return. Camilla and Federico use some open network from one of the surrounding buildings. This is worrisome.

Staying in ...

3-3-2009

I cannot believe it is already March. My Italian school has been postponed until the 16th because they did not have enough applicants for the beginner’s course. I was really bummed about this. I called the school to talk with the coordinator who assured me the class will begin on the 16th.

The past two days I have been extremely lethargic and very hungry. I have a ravenous appetite, kinda bizarre. Yesterday I did not have to begin work until 4:30 and today I pick the girls up from their aunt’s house at 5:30. I have to take Ludovica to her Catholic class today. I have never been there, so I hope it is not difficult to find. Yesterday I took the girls to their swimming lesson, came home, fed them dinner and then bed. Not so bad.

I wonder why I am so exhausted. Probably from the busy weekend. It’s bad weather here too. Rainy and cold. The sun seems to be poking through the clouds for the first time in two days. I did not leave the apartment the past two days except to escort the girls. I slept in, did my laundry and cleaned my room. Probably I am wasting this time, but I am so tired and also need to save money.

Italian treasures, Sistine Secrets and gelato for dinner

3-2-2009

I had the most fabulous weekend of my entire life. No joke. It makes the hard work in Cortina worth while. Saturday morning I traveled back to Rome. It was an eight hour journey. I arrived at Rome's Termini station an 4 p.m. I promptly bought a copy of Roma c'e and took a taxi to the apartment. I unpacked and put a frozen pizza in the oven. Then, I consulted the magazine to make some plans for Saturday night. I LOVE ROMA C'E!!!

Through the magazine I learned of a film club and theatre called The Grauco Film Club. The club projects films in their original language and it just so happened there was a Vincent Minnelli marathon Saturday night. I'm not a huge Minnelli fan or anything, but I do love Judy Garland and at 7 p.m. The Clock was playing. I studied my map to learn where the theatre was located. I had no idea how to get there. This was really challenging. Somehow I managed to find the theatre. The street it's on is a little obscure side street called via perugia. It was very difficult to find.

I arrived at the theatre only to learn that the film would be in Italian. There was a charming elderly couple who run the theatre. It is a beautiful, intimate movie theatre and I was truly taken my the space. The man told me that they always try to play the films in their original language, but this particular film does not exist in English here in Italy. He said if no one else arrives, I can have my pick of which film to watch. What a wonderful compromise! Some time passed and no one showed, so I chose a film from his list. I chose to watch a movie called Away from Her. The man seemed very pleased by my selection and said this was a beautiful film.

Just as I was entering the theater another man arrived for the Minnelli film. The elderly man told him he would have to watch the film I chose and the man stayed anyway. Away from Her was a gorgeous film about a man dealing with his aging wife's dementia. Sounds depressing, huh? Yes it was sad, but truly picturesque and the dialogue was smart and witty. I recommend it to anyone. A beautiful love story.

After the film I went home and straight to bed. The next morning I slept late and planned to meet a friend, Sarah for the first time. Sarah is from Michigan and lives 30 minutes by train from Rome. Well ... she missed her first two trains into town and so I headed to an antique market without her. I learned about the market from Roma C'e of course. It was in Piazza Mazzini. A charming little market in a circular square full of gorgeous Italian antiques and collectibles. I wanted to buy everything!

This market was unlike the other markets I have been to in Rome. For example, The Porte Portese ... ummm ... not exactly picturesque. I had to contain myself. The furniture was so beautiful and there were tents full of very expensive antique silver. GORGEOUS! I had to buy something. I bought two very small paintings, a silver angel plaque, and a crystal apple sauce maker. I only spent eighty euro. I bargained well. One of my paintings is from 1920. The other is from 1890!!!!! YIPPEE! The sauce maker was only two euro. A steal! I use this tool to make apple sauce for Pietro all the time. I love how the Italians eat and prepare food. Everything is fresh.

I can't spend any more money. What is my problem? Just as I was leaving the market Sarah called me to say she finally arrived to Rome. I headed to Piazza Venezia to meet her. She was with another friend, Snae. Snae is Icelandic. I loved her. She has a wonderful sense of humor and I laughed with her all evening long. We met and walked to the Campidolgio. This is a piazza designed by Michelangelo that overlooks the Roman Forum. I believe it was the first planned piazza in Rome. I love this place. The views of the Forum are spectacular. Afterwards, we headed to the Pantheon. Sarah had not yet seen the Pantheon. We chatted there for a while and then headed to via del corso. Sarah needed to buy some clothes. She shopped at Zara and H&M while Snae and I chatted.

I left the girls at 7:30 p.m. I wanted to attend a book signing and lecture on the new bestselling book, Sistine Secrets: Michelangelo's Forbidden Messages in the Heart of the Vatican. The book was written by two Jewish men who are revealing some hidden findings within Michelangelo's most famous works of art. It was located in an English play house in Rome in a piazza close to Piazza Navona called Piazza Montevecchio. I arrived to the lecture to find free dinner. Fantastico! There was couscous and lentils. What is it with Italians and lentils? The lecture was also free and it was fascinating. I was so happy to be in a room full of English speakers. At first I was skeptical, but I was won over by the presentation and I believe their findings to be true.

The man presenting the lecture was Roy Doliner. He has lived in Rome for some time and knew Pope John Paul II personally. He told some stories about the Pope. His coauthor, Rabbi Blech, blessed the Pope before he died, no joke! The Pope was blessed in the Jewish tradition, who knew? Roy Doliner works as a guide and docent at the Vatican. He interprets paintings for the blind and deaf. He also interprets the christian symbolism to Jewish people who tour the museums. He has given tours of the Vatican to the secret service and has been given a private tour of the White House! Doliner is American. Madonna took him to lunch when she was in Rome and Mel Gibson asked him to be a consultant in his film, The Passion. Doliner declined the Mel Gibson request. He is Jewish after all! Silly Mel Gibson ....

The book emphasizes Michelangelo's fascination with the Jewish faith and Michelangelo's desire for a merging or coexistence between the Christians and the Jews. One of his findings (there are many) within Michelangelo's painting of the Sistine Chapel is the depiction of the tree of life. Michelangelo's portrayal is not the typical apple tree, however he painted a fig tree. In the Talmud, the tree is a fig tree and not an apple tree. Also, both Adam and Eve are taking part in the eating of the fruit. Eve is not solely to blame. This is also in accordance with the Jewish tradition. The serpent is not simply a snake, but is half man, also found within the Jewish teachings. The authors believe that Michelangelo studied Judaism while at the court of Lorenzo Medici in Florence. The book also points out many stabs at Pope Julius II. Apparently Michelangelo was angry with the Pope! I wanted to buy the book, but I have spent too much this weekend and I already have two books on Rome to read. I'll pick up a copy later. The lecture ended at 10:30. I stopped to buy a gelato. One scoop raspberry, one scoop cappuccino. Mmmmm!

cortina cortina cortina

2-27-2009

It’s my last day in Cortina. Tomorrow morning I travel back to Rome alone. I am so glad to get away from everyone. I just want to be away from the kids and Camilla. I should have a full 72 hours all to myself. Tonight and tomorrow during my travel time I will plan my days off in Rome. I don’t want to waste this time. I hope these next few days are fantastic. If I can get some good rest, I will be fresh and happy next week.

Last night we celebrated Anna’s birthday. These kids are not spoiled by material possessions at all. It was a really low key party and Camilla and Federico only bought her a couple small presents. I went to La Cooperativa and bought her a jewelry making kit and some Barbie clothes. You would have thought I gave her a diamond ring. She was so happy. I am really glad. Maybe I can just bribe her. Hehehehe. We all went to a pizzeria for her festa. The pizza was delicious and the birthday cake was sooo good.

I am really tired. I am well rested, but my body is just beat. I don’t even care anymore. I don’t care if Peter goes outside to play or if the girls beds are made or if they have their gloves or if they eat merenda (snack). I only care to get out of Cortina. Today I took Peter to the center of town to play in the square. It’s sunny, but the wind is awful and very cold. We didn’t stay long. We left for home and I made him lunch after he played a while. I have figured out that if he eats a lot before nap time he sleeps very well. So I feed him a huge lunch today. Also, if he eats slowly he won’t finish the meal, so I make him eat very very quickly. I gave him a plate of pasta, four meat balls, two slices of bread with cream cheese, a banana and a container of yogurt. He ate everything. I put him to bed at 1 p.m. and I don’t plan to wake him up until 4 p.m. when Anna and Ludo arrive.

Anna was selected to climb the mountain and ski down on the fresh snow today. Only 10 kids were asked to go. She is an athletic child and she skis better than Ludovica. Ludovica is jealous of her sometimes and I feel bad for her. Anna is definitely the favorite child. Last night before Anna’s party, Ludovica began to cry and say that she was fat and Anna was beautiful. I felt terrible for her. I fixed her hair and put some make up on her. Ludovica is my favorite by far. Camilla was really proud that Anna was chosen to climb the mountain today. She wouldn’t shut up about it this morning.

Now it’s about 2:30 p.m. I took a nice hot bath and shaved my legs. I will miss the bathroom in Cortina. My shower in Rome is so small and the hot water only lasts for about 15 minutes. I am relaxing until 4 p.m. I have an awful headache. I wonder why. I am really homesick. I miss Nick like mad. The only thing keeping me from giving up is that I made plans. I have plans to go to Morocco and I am taking Italian. I hope I can make it!

some cortina pics

2-25-2009

It’s Wednesday in Cortina. I only have two more days here, thank god. I can’t wait to return to Rome. I am overworked and underpayed. I have never worked so hard for such little money in my entire life. I guess I have to take into account a lot of other things that account for pay besides the cash Camilla gives me. She finally paid me today. She never pays me on time and I hate asking her to pay me. This is really annoying. I’m going to suggest she pay me once a month instead of once a week.

Today was a typical day here. I start working early in the morning. I help get the babies ready for ski school and dress Peter. I spend the morning with him. Today we played at his cousin’s house again. He ate lunch there. He’s my little buddy. It’s funny how sometimes I love him so much and other times I don’t ever want to look at him ever again. Usually he’s easy, but by 5 p.m. I am tired of him. I am trying to find things to be grateful for. I am grateful that I was able to travel to Cortina, no matter the circumstance. I am grateful that I am with good people. I am grateful that I learn more Italian everyday.

This afternoon Anna and Ludovica had guests. Their friends Lapo and Lorenzo came to play. Camilla returned home very late today and she didn’t tell me they had a play date. I was annoyed by this. My workload doubled unexpectedly. I have to have faith that things will return to normal in Rome. I always worry for nothing, but I am worried she will expect me to do more in Rome after this ungodly workload in Cortina. Lapo and Lorenzo speak English very well. Their mother is Australian. They were telling me all about their time in Australia and how they see Koala bears and Kangaroos there. Lorenzo is very cute. He has a little fat baby face. He is only four. He switches from speaking English to speaking Italian mid-sentence. I wish I had a video recorder to play back his speech patterns. So cute!

Tomorrow is Anna’s birthday. She will be 6. I say that she is 6 already, but in reality she turns 6 tomorrow. I wanted to get Anna something for her birthday, but I don’t know if that will happen. I think that I am bonding with the kids more and more, but every time I think that things are going well with them, something happens that makes me feel like an outsider again. The language barrier is really hard. It makes it a lot harder to play and joke, but tonight little Lorenzo said that I speak a lot of Italian. Also, one Philippino at the cousin’s house said I speak Italian very well for only being in Italy for a month. Sometimes I surprise myself and string 3 or 4 sentences together. However, I don’t speak well at all and usually it is difficult to communicate with the children.

I start Italian school Monday. I am really happy about taking Italian in Italy. How fantastic is that? I am happy to be able to ask questions about the language and to have some written material to study. Also, it is nice to have a schedule, so that I have to be out of the house in the morning. Sometimes I am lazy and sleep too late or spend too much time on the computer. I should cherish this time in Italy and find something to do in Rome everyday. Also, another au pair named Sarah contacted me. She is living in Rome, so now I might have another companion.

More of stupid Cortina

2-22-2009

Camilla is suddenly the nicest person on earth today. She does not apologize, but she smiles very nicely and says good morning. She cleans up and makes breakfast, dresses the girls and makes their beds. I dunno. Last night was pretty bad. I think something happened that set her off and she took it out on me. Maybe she’s mad because her husband is never around.

I am hesitant about her now. I didn’t think she would act like that towards me and she obviously feels bad. Today is Sunday and I’m not supposed to work today. I work all day, of course. If things don’t return to normal in Rome … I will say something. If the situation is still bad … I will leave.

I take Peter to a new playground today. This is a great spot. It is a playground in the snow, but the ground is firm and the toys are great. It’s a sunny day and he doesn’t cry at all. I packed a lunch and he eats everything. He went down the slides and he loved the swing set. I am much happier if he is happy. It’s a lot more difficult if he is crying.

We left the playground around 1 p.m. He slept all the way home and once at home he slept until 4. I cleaned the entire house while he was sleeping. I mopped the floors, cleaned the kitchen and wiped the windows. I cleaned the bathroom that I use and picked up the children’s rooms. Camilla came home with the girls at 4:30. She didn’t even realize I cleaned.

Tonight Camilla went to pick up Federico from the airport. She left at 5:30 and came home at 9:30. The girls had to finish homework. Great. I had to help with homework, watch Peter, make dinner (not supposed to cook while watching children) ??????? give the kids a bath, put them to bed, clean up toys. I have absolutely had enough. I need to be told thank you. This better be over once we return to Rome. I hate to write such awful tales, but I am not happy. I’ll try to make the best of the situation, I guess.

Things couldn't be worse ... 8 weeks till Morocco

2-21-2009

Today is an awful day. Elena left this morning for Rome and I am left all alone. I am working for two now. I woke early and made breakfast. I fed Peter and dressed him. I made Ludovica and Anna’s beds and helped them dress for ski school. Camilla left early to take Elena to the train station, so I was really alone. I cleaned up after the morning rush and barely had time to dress myself. Camilla returned and said Peter would play at his cousin’s this morning. Va bene.

I took Peter to the cousin’s house and we played until 12:30. I brought him home and fed him lunch. I put him in his bed to sleep. Camilla told me I had to change rooms because Federico will be coming and he does not want Peter in their room. Once Peter was in bed I moved all my belongings to the new room. I took off my old bed sheets and straightened the room. Anna came home from ski school at 3 p.m. I gave her a snack and played with her a while. Peter woke soon after and Camilla arrived at 3:30, Ludovica at 4.

Camilla made the girls start their homework. Peter was playing with some toys on the floor in the living room. I felt like I had nothing to do, so I began straightening the kitchen. It was about 5 o’clock in the afternoon. Camilla asked me why I was cleaning and said if I had nothing to so that she could think of plenty of chores for me. I was really surprised. She started giving me a full list of things to do. She said she was taking the girls to the cousin’s and I should stay with Peter.

The list went on and on …. Make dinner. She proceeds to tell me how to cook spinach. COME ON!!! Do laundry. Move all the children’s things to the other bathroom. I just lost it and started to cry. I have worked all day long. Who does she think she is? I couldn’t help it, I just started balling. She left and I completed the chores she gave me.

When she cam home, I thought she would be happy. I finished the laundry. I made dinner. I moved bathrooms all while watching a baby. She proceeded to tell me not to cook while I am watching Peter. SHE TOLD ME TO MAKE DINNER!!!! WTF???? I am a complete wreck. I can’t stop crying. What’s wrong with me. I am really tired. She starts listing all the things she expects from me. I have no idea where this is coming from.

I want to quit right now. I want to go home. I’ve had enough. She asks me why I did not clean my room. I DID clean my room. I ask her what she wanted me to do, mom the floor ?? (In a very respectful tone). She said it wouldn’t be a bad idea. She says that if I live in her house these are the things I have to do. I reply, “Camilla, I do everything you ask.” I went straight to the closet, grabbed a bucket and mop and went to clean the floor. She doesn’t like this either and says she doesn’t want me to mop the floor now.

This is when I realize that it is not my problem. Something must be going on with her. I did nothing wrong. A little while later she says she is going to get Ludo and Anna from her cousin’s house. I feed Peter dinner and set the table for her and the girls. When she comes home I go to my room and close the door. I cry and cry. When dinner is over, I go out and do the dishes. I feel like a slave. The girls are being really sweet. Ludo hugs me and Anna says, “Tess?? Pappa?? Mamma?” It helps a bit.

I woke up at 3 a.m. and was still crying.

Disaster strikes

2-20-2009

Today is Friday. We did not have a good morning at all. I woke up, Elena prepared breakfast and I helped dress the girls for the ski lesson. They left the house and I started to help Elena clean up after the morning rush. I don’t know why, but I feel like I have to help her. It’s not really my responsibility to clean or to make breakfast, but I feel bad not helping her. I am in the kitchen putting the dishes in the dishwasher and Elena is wiping the table with pledge. She is constantly cleaning. It’s annoying.

Suddenly, I hear a very loud boom boom boom, and then screaming. I run out to the dining room and see Peter lying on the ground. He is bleeding from the mouth. This is the worst thing that can happen. If someone gets hurt, I am to blame. I feel awful, but he was with Elena! She has cared for this child his entire life. I trust her. It was no one’s fault. If there were six people in the room it could have happened.

Camilla rushes in the room. Pietro is screaming bloody murder. She takes him from me and is obviously pissed. She asks me, “Why do you not have a look at him.” What can I say? She is right. I am shaking. After some time everything settles down and everything is okay. Camilla says that these things happen, but I know she is pissed.

I won’t trust Elena again. I’m angry with her. Last night I was blow-drying Ludovica’s hair. We were playing together. Ludovica was cold, and so I was blowing the blow dryer all over her body and in her bed sheets. Elena was getting really angry by this. I was ignoring her because she was acting ridiculous. All of the sudden she yelled, “BASTA” and yanked the blow dryer out of the socket. What’s wrong with her? I felt like saying something, but I just let it go. Ludovica proceeded to cry, of course. Wonderful.

The dreaded playground in the snow

2-18-2009

Back to the dreaded playground in the snow .... AAAAAHHH. I hate this place and so does Peter. We arrive here at 10:30. I am to play until lunch time, feed Peter and give him a nap. Today we brought the passagino (stroller) so Peter can sleep after lunch. I am happy about this. I need a break.

Peter is miserable again. He does not want to play and today he refuses to eat, He only cries. All the other people are staring at us. I do everything possible to try to make him stop crying. Nothing works. Poor kid. What can I do? I’m embarrassed. At 12:20 p.m. I put him in the stroller and walk up and down the side of the mountain until he sleeps. Then I put park him in the sun and he sleeps for 2 hours. A little boy walks by screaming and he wakes up. Immediately he cries. I am going to die.

Camilla returns at 3:30 p.m. I feel like a failure. She knows that Peter is miserable. I mean I understand that he needs to be exposed to the cold and to the snow, but this is torture for him. Sometimes I think Camilla is just wrong. What does she expect? Peter screams and cries all the way to the house. Camilla knows it is not my fault. She feels bad for leaving us for so long. Well …

Once at the house, Elena takes over. We didn’t get home until 4 p.m. Almost 7 hours in the freakin’ snow. I head straight to the bathroom for a bath. I need to defrost. I got some sun on my face today. That is the only good thing about the day so far. The rest of the evening is very relaxed. Elena made dinner and I read my book and chatted with Camilla.

Cortina contd.

2-17-2009

It’s Tuesday. I have managed to survive the first two days. Now I have a sinus infection. I told Camilla I needed to go to the pharmacy. She tells me that it is better to let the mucus drain than to take medicine to stop the cold. Well, I disagree. Have the Italians heard of pseudoephed? Camilla also told me once that when you are sick, it is better to be cold than warm. Umm … What? When I am sick I want it to be warm and humid please. I don’t have the flu. I’m over that. I have watery eyes, runny nose and congestion. I am constantly sneezing. I swear I am allergic to the cold weather.

Today after the girls are off to ski school, Camilla gives me the morning off. Elena will take Pietro to his cousin’s house. She says I should take some time for myself this week because next week Elena will be gone and she will need me all day everyday. Wonderful. I just want to get back to Rome where I only work ½ a day. This is way too much. I don’t have anything to do, so I ask Camilla if I can make dinner tonight. She says OK.

When Elena leaves with Pietro, I head to La Cooperativa to buy groceries for dinner. Camilla gave me a shopping list and money for groceries. I like this chore. I get to pick out everything I want at the store. What fun? La Cooperativa is a strange place. It is a department store, a grocery store, a newsstand … all in one. There is nothing you won’t find at La Cooperativa and it is huge. I buy the groceries and some postcards and begin the trek home. I have to carry the groceries all the way to the house. I should have thought of this before. How stupid am I? I didn’t buy much, so it’s not too bad.

I get home unpack and prepare the dinner. I put it in the fridge to cook later tonight. Elena comes back with Pietro and I make him pasta for lunch. I am now completely addicted to Parmaseano Regeano. We did not have any when we arrived to Cortina and I thought I wasn’t going to be able to eat. I am also in love with a kind of lentil and vegetable soup that Camilla and Elena cook. Mmmmmm. Who knew lentils could taste so good. After Pietro eats he goes to bed. I tell Elena I will be back in 20 minutes and head to the pharmacy in pursuit of a decongestant.

The pharmasist only speaks Italian, of course. I don’t know how to say sinuses in Italian. So I tell her, “Male gola. Hachu hachu. No influenza.” She gets it and gives me exactly what I was looking for. The medicines are all the same brand at the pharmacy. There is no Dayquil or anything. The box reads, “ Per la cura dei sintomi del raffredore.” I don’t know what raffredore means and I don’t have my dictionary. I trust the pharmacist and take one immediately. Ahhh, an hour later … relief at last. Motlo buono.

Pancakes

2-16-2009

Another day in Cortina … Today we did not go to the dreaded playground in the snow, thank god! Camilla said I would stay with Pietro at her cousin’s house while they go skiing together. Her cousin has four children. All the children were skiing except Pietro’s second cousin, Madeline, who is two years old. We start the day by getting Ludovica and Anna off to their ski school. Their teacher arrives at the house at 8:45 a.m. to take them skiing. Then, I dress Pietro for the snow and we leave the house.

We drive a short way to Camilla’s cousin’s house. The house is amazing. It looks like it’s out of a magazine. The entire inside of the house is solid wood with beautiful moldings and hardware. The front door was glassed in, I am guessing so it does not freeze shut, and there were golden angel statues guarding the door. I mean … gorgeous. Camilla was sure to tell me that the house belongs to her cousin’s mother-in-law and that lots of other children use this home.

So … Camilla says Pietro and Madeline should play outside for an hour and inside for an hour. Camilla told me to take Pietro home in the passagino (stroller) at 1:30, feed him lunch and put him to bed. I should wake him up at 4 p.m. and give him a snack. Mamma mia! I have to walk all the way home in the snow. AAAAAHHHH!

Madeline and Pietro do not play well together. Pietro is one and a half and so does not yet know how to play with other children. Madeline is two and is quite terrible. She hits Pietro constantly. Every time he goes for a toy she cries and screams, “mio” (mine). What a wonderful morning ... I am so sick of this already. I cannot wait to get back to Rome. It’s only been two days! Not even …

I follow Camilla’s instructions and leave for home around 1:10 p.m. I arrive at the house, and Pietro is sleeping. I have to wake him up to feed him lunch. This is not a pretty sight. He screams and cries. I hate when he cries. I feel like it’s my fault. He eats pasta and I put him to bed at 2 p.m. Elena helps me and afterwards we try to sit and chat a while.

The entire conversation is painfully difficult. Both of us are searching for words and desperately trying to communicate. Somehow we manage to tell each other about our homelands and family. She has an Italian boyfriend who lives in Sardinia. We share photos and it’s nice to talk to someone my own age. Elena says she lived in Prague for seven years. How fantastic? I love Prague. It is so beautifully gothic, full of art noveau architecture.

The girls come home from skiing in the afternoon. Anna arrives at 3 p.m. and Ludovica at 4 p.m. I make them Miranda (a late snack). Today one of the other cousins, Marie-Guilia comes to play. These cousins are spoiled rotten. Marie-Guilia treats me like a servant. She has Philippino helpers at her home and I think there is a general prejudice against Philippinos in Italy. She treats me as she would them. How wonderful?


Camilla has asked me to make pancakes tonight. I am really nervous. I just want my pancakes to be good. I will be a complete failure if I can’t make the pancakes. It is the first time I have cooked dinner for the family. I start to make the pancakes around 5:30 p.m. My recipe amounts are in cups and teaspoons. I don’t know the conversions. I have to guess. I make a big batch of pancake mix and do a test run. The pancake is more like a crepe, so I add more four and more baking powder and voila, a pancake. It tastes good and I am very happy. Thank god!

I spend 2 hours in the kitchen making pancakes and bacon. The bacon is so fresh. It looks like it has just come from the butcher. It is the best bacon I have ever tasted. I wonder why the Americans can’t have food like they do in Italy. Our bacon is ugly, full of fat and loaded with preservatives. Why???

After dinner I cleaned the kitchen and Marie-Guilia’s mother came to take her home. I poured myself a glass of wine and sat at the table with the family for a little while. This is when Camilla made fun of my American accent. Anna asks me a question. I only understand a few words. I reply, “No capito.” Camilla snaps, “No capito, no capito” in the most ugly Italian accent I have ever heard. I don’t think she meant to hurt my feelings. I think she meant to laugh with me, but it made me really upset. She could tell. She apologized soon afterwards.

First day in Cortina

2-15-2009

It’s my first day working in Cortina for Camilla. Not exactly my cup of tea. We woke early to get ready to ski. I helped everyone eat and dress. It is Sunday. The girls will ski with Camilla today and start ski school tomorrow. We left the house around 10 a.m. and headed to the mountains. Mamma mia!

Did I ever write that I HATE SNOW??? It is the worst thing on earth. We arrived at the mountain and Camila showed me to a child’s area outside a restaurant very near a ski lift. There are lots of toys for children. I am to stay here and play with Pietro while everyone skis. OK. Well … Pietro hates the snow too. He cried all morning and all afternoon. The only time he stops crying is when I feed him lunch. My head aches and I am tired of trying to make him happy. Camilla and the girls return around 3 p.m. and I am ready to call it a day. It’s obvious to Camilla how miserable Pietro is, but she wants him to learn to like the snow. OK. It’s a lot for him. He can barely walk as it is and with all the snow gear he falls every few steps. He is so frustrated and I feel so bad for him. He is normally so happy, so he must really be miserable.

We return home and Camilla gives me some time to myself. I take a long bath and make myself a nice hot cup of tea. Elena stays home all day. I am envious of her. This trip might just kill me. It is almost unbearable already, and I hope the time will go by fast. I am also starting to see Camilla in a new light. The wealthy Italians have all these status symbols. They all have to have a house in the country and they must go skiing in the winter. The babies have to be excellent little skiers and everyone had hired help. I think the Americans are more relaxed than the Italians when it comes to social class.

It is difficult for me to be treated like Camilla’s maid. I have my own home and afford all the same luxuries as her. I remind myself she is a means to an end. I am here to travel and to learn Italian. I am always kind and respectful of her. She sees me as a little girl who has nothing. It’s not as easy as one might think. It reminds me to be careful of how you treat even the smallest member of society. For the most part, Camilla is very nice to me. I hate to complain about her, but I have to vent sometimes.

It’s also Valentine’s Day and I am away from Nick. I miss him very much today. I don’t have the Internet here so communication is much more difficult. He calls me everyday, but we can’t talk for long. This is the hardest part about being in Cortina. In Rome we have Internet and so I am always in contact with him. Now I feel totally disconnected and alone. I miss wearing my wedding rings. I feel naked and lonely.