Buona Pasqua

4-11-2009

Today is Saturday and tomorrow is Easter. It was a fantastic day in Bibbiano. I spent the morning outside with the babies as usual. The fresh air and the quiet slumber in Bibbiano have helped me to recover from my awful cold. I feel fresh and full of energy. The weather has been absolutely beautiful. It is very warm in the sun, but there is a cool breeze and the shade is a nice refuge if you get too hot. We played soccer and monkey in the middle and walked with nonna to collect fresh eggs from the chicken coop.

Then Camilla and Federico hid chocolate and painted eggs all over the yard and the babies had their Easter egg hunt. Ludovica found all the eggs. Anna found a few. Pietro didn't know what to think and he just wanted to eat chocolate. He's not suppose to have any chocolate, doctor's orders. What an awful time to try to keep chocolate away from a baby? After the egg hunt we all ate a huge Easter pranza (lunch) of chicken, rabbit and potatoes.

Camila told me that tomorrow we will go to the beach for Easter. She asked me if I would like to com along or go back to Rome. I could tell that she would rather I come, so I said I would join them, but I am really ready for some time to myself.

La herba

Rosemary is EVERYWHERE!!


Lavender. I wish Lavender would grow in Florida.


Here is a large clump of Salvia growing next to the door. Federico says that in some parts of Italy they fry the Salvia with eggs and bread crumbs. I want to try it.

Siena

4-10-2009

I spent today in Siena. Siena is a small town just 15 minutes from Bibbiano. Siena is home of the Palio, a famous horse race in Italy. Federico arrived last night and said he had to go to Siena today, so Camilla told me I should go with him and see the town. I have been to Siena once before, and I was definitely up for another visit. So, this morning we drove to Siena and I spent the day wandering the narrow streets taking photos. I’m tired of trying to take nice photos. I just want to take stupid tourist photos, so mostly I just take stupid tourist photos. I’m always depressed when I get home and upload my pics. Digital photography has made it possible for me to take 150 pictures of CRAP.

Anyway, of course Siena is beautiful and so was the day. It was very warm and sunny and there were a lot of tourists. I basked in the sun at Il Campo the main town square and roamed around looking in all the shops. The shopping was good, but I thought the prices were a lot higher than in Rome. I went to an Internet café and watched BBC news. There was a terrible earthquake in l’Aquila this week and almost 300 people died. Federico told me he felt tremors in Rome. This town is not that far from Rome. I also read some American news. I wonder what it’s going to be like to return to the US and have Obama for a president. I really haven’t been following the news at all, but I did see Michelle Obama on the cover of Vogue recently. ☺

At the end of the day, I met Federico and we drove back to Bibbiano. It’s nice to talk to Federico for a change. He told me that in the 13th and 14th centuries Florence and Siena bordered each other and were at war. He pointed out the old border on the way home and showed me a very old walled village in Siena called Monteriggioni that Florence once attacked. He said that people still live in this village today. I know nothing about the history of Italy.

Federico also explained to me how they harvest the olives and grapes. He said that they don’t have the machine to make the olive oil in Bibbiano. When the olives are ready, they hire people to pick them from the trees (a very tedious task I gather) and then they take all the olives elsewhere to make the oil. The grapes are harvested in Bibbiano in September and October. They are collected and put into a giant machine that heats and stirs the grapes. The skins and seeds float to the top and the container must be stirred because if not the skin of the grapes will create a cap and no oxygen will reach the wine. This will cause the wine to turn to vinegar. Then the juice is stored for 2 years in barrels before it is bottled. Some of the not so good juice is used to make vinegar. Then he showed me a very old vineyard that his grandfather planted 50 years ago. He said this vineyard was quite incredible because usually the vines only live for 30 to 40 years, but these vines are still thriving. He also showed me where they are planting new vines.

Federico went grocery shopping today and cooked dinner. I feel guilty for writing that he can’t handle domestic chores. He is such a nice person and he just works a lot. The poor guy is tired. Tonight he cooked sea bass in the most interesting way. He did not fillet the fish. He poured sea salt (the large granules) over tin foil covering the bottom of the pan (cookie sheet). Then he laid the entire fish on top of the salt and covered the entire rest of the fish with the salt too. He then put the fish in the oven for 30 minutes at 150 degrees Celsius. The salt creates a crust over the fish once it has cooked. You can really taste the natural flavor of the fish this way. Both Camilla and Federico say this is a fantastic and easy way to prepare fish. I have noticed that it is common in Italy to fillet the fish after it has been cooked.

Today, for the first time, I felt envious of Federico and Camilla. I have always loved the way they live, but I really haven’t envied them. Tuscany is just so pretty and everything is so charming. It’s starting to be very dazzling. The nonna’s house, the winery, olive groves in the back yard, peonies on the kitchen table … Today I thought when Nick and I retire, we can buy a farm house in Tuscany and restore the place. Wouldn’t that be the most exciting way to spend your oldest years?

La casa di nonna

4-9-2009

Today was a beautiful day in Tuscany. This morning I helped the girls with their homework and played with Peter in the garden. Memory has become a favorite pass time and I usually play at least 6 games of memory per day with the girls. Now we are playing our games on a blanket in the garden. Fantastic. I am finally starting to feel better. I should be over this horrific cold after the weekend. Thank goodness. If I get sick again I'm going to die.

I was able to use the Internet for a little bit this afternoon. There is an office near the house and Camilla showed me how to connect. That was nice. Afterwards Camilla took the girls to a nearby ranch for a horse back riding lesson. It was pretty adorable. Anna actually fell asleep on her horse. Amazing. Haha.

After the riding lesson Camilla dropped us off at the nonna's house. I really like nonna. She is so relaxed and she doesn't boss me around like Camilla. She knows I'm going to help her, do what I am supposed to and watch Pietro. I don't think she would think it was necessary to tell me how to cook spinach. She has a warm smile and it's really sweet to watch her play with her grandchildren. Today she hid presents all over the house and they played fuoco\fredo while the babies hunted for the gifts. Afterwards we all walked around her enourmous garden, ate persimons and picked lemons. She has the most beautiful peonies and Anna had the idea to make a boquet for her mother. She and nonna selected the prettiest pink peonies and I almost cried it was so beautiful. Peonies are my new favorite flower. I wish they would grow in Florida.

Next weekend Camilla and Federico are going to a wedding and I will stay with the children at nonna's. I'm actually excited about this, except I do hope we can manage to have an ordinary dinner. All of this motherly domestic stuff is making me long for home and Nick. I just want to get to my house and work on making it a restful haven for my family. I think I will be forever changed by this experience. I really like the way Camilla runs her family and I will probably inherit a lot of her habits. She is an excellent mother and even though I have my qualms, she's a remarkable person.

Bibbiano

4-8-2009

Another day in Bibbiano. This morning I played with Pietro outside. He seemed to enjoy himself and it was a beautiful day. Camilla went to the pharmacy this morning and bought Peter the medicine that the doctor prescribed. The girls spent the morning finishing their homework and afterwards they joined Peter and I outside.

Camilla went to her mother-in-law’s house with Anna and Ludovica for lunch and I stayed home while Peter slept. The mother-in-law/grandmother lives just down the street and all the land/vineyard/winery belongs to her and her late husband. Camilla came home around 4 p.m. and told me that she had to go to Sienna for the afternoon and that I needed to stay with the children at the grandmother’s house. She wanted us to eat dinner there and to take a walk to see the construction that was taking place at the bottom of the hill. This is so weird, but Peter enjoys the large trucks and tractors.

The grandmother’s house is fantastic. It is HUGE. There is a large wrought iron gate in the front and the property is surrounded by a stonewall. The house is absolutely beautiful. There is even a large guesthouse in the back that was probably a barn at one point. There was also a beautiful well in the backyard. I know this is not so uncommon, but this is the type of well that Alice fell into. The house really reminded me of a fairy tale. It was all storybook, but at the same time it felt really lonely and desolate. It was very dark inside and I was sad to think that this one woman lives there all alone.

The dinner was a bit strange. It was very nice, but so NOT American. I fed Peter first and Anna, Ludovica and myself ate afterwards with the Nonna. A Philippine couple prepared the meal and served the dinner. They watched Pietro while we ate. The dinner was ridiculously formal and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. The Italians always eat antipasti, then a first course, second course … but this was just too much. The man brought us dishes of water to wash our hands after the meal (this has always seemed like a strange dinner tradition to me and really outdated). It just wasn’t your typical meal with grandma. Camilla arrived just as we were finishing the dinner. Anna promptly told her, “Tess e antipatica a me per che …” I did not go her way on the walk to see the tractors and apparently this really upset her. Mamma mia. This kid can be such a brat. I thought we were buddies. I played with her all day long.

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Just as Anna was acting out some bizarre and twisted story about how I ruined her day, one of the dogs (there are two large dogs at this house) rushed by the buffet table and all the china fell and broke into a million pieces. Camilla yelled sarcastically, “Alle.”

Florence for a day

4-7-2008

Today was the third day in Bibbiano with Camilla and the children. Today was a special day because we went to Florence. Camilla is from Florence and she wanted to take Pietro to the doctor because he has been really sick for weeks now. I have been sick right along with him, but my health is of little concern. Anyway … Camilla was quite fantastic today. She gave me a map of Florence this morning, marked my path and sent me on my way to explore. Sometimes she can be so wonderful and other times I think nothing could please her.

I want to take a brief detour from Florence to note Camilla’s behavior. I try really hard to make her happy. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing here. Last week Camilla went to the cinema with her friends one night. When she came home Peter began to cry just as she entered the door. He probably heard her come in the house. I was exceptionally ill this evening. I could not breath. This cold has been awful, and I’m not just complaining. But that is beside the point. I saw Camilla go to get Peter, so I did not go to him. The next morning she asked me why I did not listen for Pietro. She asked me why I left Peter in his crib to cry. I politely informed her that this is absolutely NOT what happened and that he did not cry before she arrived home. There is no way I could not hear Peter cry. The apartment in Rome is tiny and I always hear him. This situation REALLY upset me. I think she looks for things to go wrong or for me to screw up. I would NEVER just leave Peter (or any baby) to cry, and it was wrong for her to assume that this is what happened.

Another thing happened on this particular night. When Camilla went out, I put a shirt in the washing machine. The washing machines here are VERY small. This particular washing machine is probably 1/3 the size of the new “energy star” machines at home. I wanted to wash this one shirt alone because it is very delicate and I didn’t want it to get damaged. When she confronted me on this particular morning about Pietro crying in his crib, she also informed me that I cannot wash just one shirt because it costs a lot of money to run the washing machine and the machine uses a lot of electricity. She’s right. I mean, I shouldn’t just wash one shirt alone and I normally would not do this. Normally, I would take the shirt to the dry cleaner. Who knows how much energy that takes? However, situations like this one are so annoying. These are the times when I want to tell her I QUIT, pack my bags and catch the next flight to Orlando. It’s difficult to have someone monitor what/when you eat, what/when you do laundry, when you sleep … My own mother does not do this. Camilla is very motherly and she thinks she is always right. She’s constantly telling me to put on a sweater or that I will need my jacket because it’s cold … CHE NOIA!!! I am a grown woman. I know how to put on my jacket when I am cold. Anyway, I try to make her happy. I want her to like me. The bottom line is that no matter what, she will always look down on me. I suppose that’s the nature of this particular job. I should have known.

Back to Florence … It was nice of Camilla to take me to Florence to sight see. Also, she explained everything that I should see in order according to location. I had been to Florence before, but I was like 19 and really didn’t see much. I was more worried about going out with my friends at the time. Today I saw EVERYTHING. I spent a lot of time at Uffizi and I absolutely LOVED Ponte Vecchio. This bridge is the coolest looking thing I have ever seen. Florence probably has a better collection of art than Rome, and the city is very clean, but Rome has more atmosphere, more history, more j’ ne se qua.

After a full day of sightseeing, I met Camilla at her mother’s home, which is in the center, very near to Piazza di San Croce. The mother’s home was small, but very charming, complete with a rooftop terrace and a spectacular view of the city. We ate dinner there and left shortly after. Camilla says it is like living in a museum to live in the center of Florence. It is difficult to drive your car and you have to have special permits to do just about anything.

On the way out of the house, Camilla turns to me and says, “I’m sorry it is a little late for you?” It was like 8 p.m. I don’t know where this remark came from, but I got the impression that she was unhappy with the way I was acting. I told her I had bought some new medicine from the pharmacy that made me feel a but drowsy. I actually DID by the medicine, but I felt just fine. She’s weird about medicine and proceeded to roll her eyes and give me a lecture about how I should not take too much medicine and to be sure not to mix the medicine. OH MY GOD!!!!! Sometimes I feel so awkward. I don’t know what she wants from me. When she wants me to do something, she needs to just ask because I don’t read minds. I try to be as helpful as possible. The car ride back to Bibbiano was silent. The babies slept and I got some weird vibe from Camilla. I try not to read too much into her moods. Who knows what’s on her mind? It’s all starting to be a little much for me to take. I wonder when/if I am going to crack.

Pizza Pizza ... Oh, and wine too!

3-3-2009

Here I am eating pizza in Rome near Piazza di Spagna.

Il Pesce d'Aprile

4-1-2009

I cannot believe that it is already April. Where did March go? I'm really down in the dumps today. I've been really sick and today is the worst. My ears are ringing, I have the chills ... not good at all. Every time Peter is sick, I am sick. He is always sick. Che noia!

Sunday we all go to Tuscany. I was going to take a bus to Bibiano next week and travel to Perugia this weekend with my friend Sarah, but I just don't think I can go to Perugia. I feel so bad, I don't even want to go anymore. I just want to lay in my bed and stare at the wall. I couldn't even stand to look at the computer screen yesterday.

I just wish there was Internet in Bibiano, but I am going to write letters the old fashioned way, and watch movies like La Strada and Casablanca. I'm not going to let myself get down. I plan to travel to Siena for a day and I am going to explore the winery. I wonder what the vineyards will look like now that it's spring.

I had to drag myself out of bed and to school today because I have to make up the hours that I will miss while I'm in Tuscany. I've been going to class from 9:30 until 1:30 this week. Everyone was looking at me like I was crazy for not staying in bed. Oh well. We are learning the past tense by reading fables (favole). Now we are reading and discussing Sleeping Beauty (Bella Addormentata). Tomorrow we are discussing Pesce d' Aprile. This is April fools day for the Italians. The traditional pesce d'Aprile (the fool of April) in Italy consists of a school kids taping a small fish (pesciolino) to the back of one of their fellow class mates. Then everyone laughs at the person and says -- L'hai visto il pesce d'Aprile? (Have you seen the April fool?) Oh the Italians and their fish.

Also, I've been working over time, so there's been no time for rest. Camilla received a call about a very important painting that was hand delivered to Rome today. She's been working frantically ever since. I wonder what painting it is, but I haven't been able to ask her. I was on my own this afternoon and this evening with the babies. And Anna's friend Francesca was visiting as well. Chaos. Anna and Ludovica would not stop fighting. They fought all night long. They fought in the bath and at the dinner table. They fought while putting their pajamas on. I can't really raise my voice right now because I'm weak, so I just ignored them eventually. Anna can be really aggressive. She will go after Ludovica in a rage. It's not a pleasant sight.

One thing that is keeping my spirits high is my trip to Morocco. I will be in Morocco in 20 days. I can hardly wait. I was getting anxious about travel plans and so I emailed Caitlin to see if we could meet up to discuss the itinerary and car rental. I expected her to email me back next week some time and for us to be completely unorganized about the whole ordeal. This was stressing me out, but she emailed me back within hours and included a complete itinerary of the entire trip. I was amazed. I'm glad to be making this trip with her because she's a seasoned traveler.


Morocco Itinerary
• April 21 flight from Rome to Madrid 9:40 to 12:10. Sleep in Madrid hostel on the 21st
• April 22 flight from Madrid to Marrakech at 7:30 am. Arrive in morning and sight see all day. Sleep in Marrakech
• April 23 desert tour in Marrakech to Zagora. Spend night in desert (but keep hostel ??)
• April 24 continued desert tour. Sight see rest of day. Spend night in Marrakech hostel.
• April 25 pick up car in am and drive to Casablanca, spend night
• April 26 am drive to Rabat, spend all day and night
• April 27 am drive to Fez. Drop off car in Fez and catch train back to Marrakech. Or spend day in Fez, drive back to Marrakech in early afternoon and spend night in Marrakech.
• April 28 either head to airport from hostel in am (may need to drop car off at airport) and catch flight back to Madrid/Rome

Italian fashion rules the world

Disclaimer - I know these photos are pretty bad. Wish I had a polarizing filter, but I don't.





"The French were more sophisticated, more complicated," the Principessa Galitzine suggested in later life. "Whereas the Italians were light-hearted and young. They loved life."

This disposition resulted in clothes that combined ease and luxury - a low-key kind of glamour, as typified in the Principessa’s own invention of wide-legged pajama-style trousers, memorably dubbed "palazzo pants" by fashion maven Diana Vreeland.

While Paris embraced the structured, exaggerated silhouettes of Christian Dior’s new look, Rome was developing a fashion identity of its own. "We broke away from the French," Micol Fontana told fashion trade bible, WWD, in 2000. "The Americans were instrumental in shaping our attitude toward fashion. They were practical and needed clothing they could live in. And we were ready to deliver. We were more informal; our fashion was more linear and more practical. You could wear it on the street and no-one was going to stare at you."

3-29-2009

Leather boots seem to be just as much a part of the Italian culture as pizza. It's doubtful there are many Italian PETA supporters, and you can spot an Italian woman simply by her boots and coat. Fur coats are ubiquitous in Italy. Everyone has one.

I love the above quote about Italian light-heartedness. This sums up why I love Italy. The Italians know how to live the good life and above all how to have a good time, but they're not pretentious and are sophisticated without being over the top.

One fashion trend I immediately noticed upon arrival was the python print. Guess who (metaphorically) walked down the aisle in authentic python stilettos? Yours truly. At first I was really proud of myself for being so trendy, but by now I am feeling unoriginal and very mainstream. Good thing Americans are 6 months behind Europe's fashion trends, or so I've heard. By now the snake skin leather boots are becoming last season and the new collections are starting to hit the window displays.

I have noticed the Italians are wearing a kind of boot that looks like a cross between a cowboy boot and a classic Italian style pointed toe boot. Fantastic. I really like the ankle cut version too. The girls are wearing the ankle cowboy boot with shorts. LOVE IT. They also look fantastic over jeans. I definitely want a pair.

Agretti

Agretti. I forgot to mention this vegetable. I love it, but it's a pain to clean. I have never even seen this stuff before, it tastes like straws of spinach. The texture is great and it crunches a bit in your mouth.

Album per ritagli

3-28-2009

I am exhausted. I worked every morning this week and did not get to bed early. Peter is sick and the girls are also feeling a little under the weather. Everyone has a cold. Camilla does not let them shower or go to the swimming pool if they are sick. I think the shower thing is a little strange. I can understand not washing the hair and not going to the pool, but an entire week is a long time to go without bathing. Camilla is very tired because Peter has not been sleeping at night, so I've been working a little harder than usual it seems.

Yesterday the girls took Camilla's photos and made her scrapbooks (album per ritagli). I don't know if Camilla was too thrilled with them sticking all her precious photos in a book, but she seemed not to mind too much. I don't argue with the children. If they want to do something that I think might be a problem, I warn them and then let the mother deal with the issue. This way the children like me better and there are no power struggles. It's my job to make sure the toys are put away, that they have a bath, to dress them and to keep them happy. I avoid all arguments like the plague.

I am actually avoiding the plague. Peter has had a fever for three days and he is absolutely miserable. He won't eat, he can't sleep ... I am sure I am going to get whatever sickness he has. I am constantly washing my hands and I am drinking lots of OJ. However, today I woke up and felt the sickness in the back of my throat and nose. GREAT. It seems like I have been sick ever since I got here.

This morning I spent some money. I know, I know .... but I was feeling miserable and I just needed to buy some things. I also got a haircut. I went to the Aveda salon by Piazza de Spagna. I love my new haircut so much. It was a great salon and I just walked right in with no problem. I love being in a big city. These are the times when I don't miss Gainesville a bit. I explained to the stylist that I was trying to grow my hair out, but that I needed her to shape the cut. She told me that my face is suited for short hair and that if I grow my hair long, I should keep short layers in the front. Good tip.

I also bought a few blouses and a light, linen jacket. The washing machine here is rough on my clothes and all of them are looking worn out. I can't stand this. Also, I needed lightweight, long sleeve shirts for Morocco because I need to respect the culture and cover my arms and legs. This is also for my own protection, I guess. So, I had a good day. :)

I want to say a few words about Federico. I never talk about him. Mainly because he is rarely home. He travels very frequently for work and when he does come home during the week, he arrives around 9 p.m. He is a very nice man and at first I thought that he really just has to work a lot, but now I wonder if he likes to be away. The gender roles are much more defined in Italy than in the US. It is very rare for me to see Federico make any attempt at domesticity. He never cooks, he does not clean, he is different with the babies ... Sometimes I think he's like a fourth child. Hahaha. This seems typical of upper class Italian family units. I like the American family life more because I like to see a man participate in the home environment. I like that Nick cooks dinner, goes to the grocery store and comes home at 5 p.m.

The Pantheon and Raphael's muse

3-24-2009

Camilla thinks I understand absolutely no Italian, but I understand most of what the conversation entails. I am using this to my advantage. I take it we are going to Tuscany for Easter. The girls have a week vacation from school for the holiday. I have to say, I'm not thrilled. This means another week with no Internet and nothing to do. I absolutely plan to visit Siena this time. I really should be happier about getting the chance to spend a week in Tuscany during the spring, but that means less time in Rome, and ...

Today I went just about everywhere in Rome. I spent the morning at the Pantheon and Campo de Fiori. Then I walked to Piazza Venezia and ate lunch at the cafe above the Campidoglio. There is a pretty good view of Rome from this rooftop bar. I keep going to the same spots in Rome. I love these three places so much, the Campidoglio, the Pantheon and Campo de Fiori. Piazza della Rotunda (the piazza containing the Pantheon) according to my guidebook is, "... worthy of Felinni. Half-naked beauties, pickpockets, street hawkers, introverts, extroverts, freaks and oddities of every ilk heap abuse on each other in an irresistible spontaneous commedia dell'arte." This statement is so true. This piazza has a life of its own.

Henry James wrote the following letter to his sister in 1869 regarding the Pantheon:

By far the most beautiful piece of ancestry in Rome is that simple and unutterable Pantheon to which I repeated my devotions yesterday afternoon. It makes you profoundly regret that you are not a pagan suckled in the creed outworn that produced it. It's the most conclusive example I have yet seen of the sublime. Imagine simply a vast cupola with its drum, set directly on the earth and fronted with a porch of columns and a triangular summit: the interior lighted by a hole in the apex of the alters. The effect is the very delicacy of grandeur - and more worshipful to my perception than the most mysterious and aspiring Gothic. St. Peter's, beside it, is absurdly vulgar.

I love this description of the building, but the Pantheon has not always been so loved. In the middle ages it was almost destroyed due to its pagan heritage. It was transformed into a christian church in the seventh century, but apparently there was this belief that the building was cursed and inhabited by satan. During the Renaissance the building regained its rightful place in the "pantheon" of Roman architecture and when Raphael chose to be buried there in 1520 instead of at the Vatican "its fame as a paradigm of classical perfection was symbolically reconfirmed."

After lunch I headed to Piazza Barberini because I wanted to visit Palazzo Barberini. This is where Raphael's painting of La Fornarina hangs. I don't know why I am fascinated by Raphael and his mistress, but I just am. La Fornarina was simply a baker's daughter and supposedly Raphael was lovesick for her. His painting has been met with much disdain by some prudish individuals. I, however, LOVE this painting. The details are exquisite. Raphael signed his name in a bright blue band around the beautie's arm and she is wearing a delicate ring above the knuckle on one of her fingers. I just love the idea of an artist painting a portrait of his great love. It's so romantic.

Piazza Barberini itself has a wonderful story to tell. It's not a very beautiful piazza, but many literary figures and artists have stayed there. My guidebook says "its literary history is second only to that of Piazza di Spagna. Among the many authors who resided in the square were Louisa May Alcott, Margaret Fuller, Hans Christian Anderson and Nathaniel Hawthorne." Also Friderich Nietzche stayed in this square for some time. It's pretty cool to think of all the people who have walked the streets of Rome.

After a full day of wonderful sightseeing I headed back to Camilla for an evening of hard labor. Ugh. I arrived at the house and immediately picked up a heap of toys and escorted Ludovica and her friend Daria to a birthday party. I walked back from the party and Camilla informed me that I would be taking Anna and Pietro to play at her friend's house who lives close to Borghese. OK. The friend has an American au pair and it was nice to spend time chatting in English. There were two other babies there, Elena and Luigi. The children threw toys all over the place. I am so tired of cleaning up toys. I HATE TOYS. This house made me appreciate Camilla's home. The toys there were all pushed to the side in a giant pile and there was no organization. This made it more difficult to clean up. Also, the family had three dogs and the front terrace reeked of wet dog. GROSS!

Tonight we talk art

3-21-3009

Just after my venting post, I discovered a Bernd and Hilla Becher book in Camilla's library. Renewed faith. She returned from the party with Anna. I gave the children a bath and we sat down for dinner. We began to talk about art and art history. Camilla is the most fantastic person to talk about art with because she has a real sense of the history of art. She told me about the Giotto exhibit and about how much she loves that period and the beginning of the traditional Italian style. She told me it can be difficult to understand this art if you are not aware of the old symbolism. She explained some of the details and how the painters mixed pigments ...

I asked her about the Bernd and Hilla Becher book and told her that their son was a professor of mine in college. She told me she loved this work and purchased this book when she visited MOMA in NYC. What excellent taste? She went to MOMA and bought Cooling Towers by Hilla and Bernd Becher! I was floored. This work is beautiful, but it's not something usual. I mean ... I think you have to have sophisticated taste to like this work. She told me that she loved MOMA more than The Met, specifically the photo section. We talked about other contemporary artists and photographers we enjoy. Sigh ... This woman is wonderful.

This would be me venting

3-21-2009

I must preface this post with the following ... Camilla is a very kind woman. She has excellent intuition and she has always treated me with the utmost respect. Generally, I like my job here and I am happy. It is doubtful that I would like any au pair position more than this one and I am glad to have found such good people here in Italy. That being said ... My skin is broken out and I can't stop eating. These are clear signs that shark week is right around the corner, and hasn't PMS come to mean "instinctual bitching?"

I chose to do this. I could be working at a career worthy job in the USA, but I wanted to see the world and reap the benefits of all that this experience has to offer. However, I long for home and my friends and family. I am tired of looking at Camilla's dishes and cleaning her kitchen. I want my own kitchen back and I want to wash my own damn dishes. I am role playing here. I play this role of nanny, house maid. I want to be myself again.

Camilla says I don't have to work in the mornings except on rare occasions. So, naturally I don't work in the mornings, but I sense this weird vibe that she thinks I sleep too much, or that she really would like me to help in the mornings. I have asked her to tell me if she needs me to wake early several times. I have asked her to knock on my door if something comes up and she needs an extra hand. Because of this I always sleep with some pending anxiety here. Like I didn't study for a test, or I am sleeping through class. I only sleep well when the family is away.

Sometimes, I sense that Camilla thinks I am lazy. Well, she doesn't see a lot of the things I do. Also, a lot of times I start to pick up dishes or to clean something and she tells me to stop because she wants to do it. If she is aggravated or tired, I think she takes it out on me. For example, this afternoon she took Anna to a birthday party. She was getting her ready for the party and she says to me, "You never brush the hair." What? Umm, I quite frequently brush their hair. It was Saturday morning and I forgot. I dressed all three children and played with them all day. I made them lunch, read books with Anna, cleaned up toys, changed dirty diapers ... No one told me there was a party to attend. Camilla would have rebrushed Anna's hair before the party if I had brushed it.

Yesterday Camilla complained that I put away the toys haphazardly. Usually I put the toys away nicely. I even try to arrange them so they look cute. Sometimes there is not a lot of time to put away toys before dinner. They play right up until dinner time and then go to bed right after. Camilla lectured me on how the toys must be organized because the children play better if the toys are always put in the same place. OK, she has a point ... Camilla says thank you a lot. It's not that she's unappreciative or mean. I just have to get it out, so I don't have pent up agression.

Elena, the young girl who cleans in the mornings, seems to hate me. She is always giving me some weird look. I don't work in the mornings or early afternoon. That's her shift, so she never sees me do much. Some mornings I try to help her, so she'll stop with the attitude. I put the clothes out on the line, or I load and unload the dishwasher. I am tired of this as well. Elena thinks I'm a stupid American. I can sense her resentment.

I rarely talk to Nick. We're in touch, but I never get to talk or chat with him for longer than 10 minutes it seems. This is starting to become annoying. I miss him. I miss our home and our dog. If I didn't have the Morocco trip and my Italian class to look forward to, it would be a lot easier to give up.

Diet changing experience

3-20-2009

It is a cold , gray day in Rome and I am enjoying some much needed down time. I locked myself in my room this morning and don't plan to come out until 3 or 4 p.m. I have to work all day tomorrow and it's Saturday, but this is only fair considering I've enjoyed three long weekends in a row. I hope I can take the babies to Villa Borghese or Villa Glori tomorrow. The forecast says sunny and I don't want to be disappointed.

The past two days Lorenzo and Francesco have come to play in the afternoon. It has been utter chaos. I leave them alone until the boys leave and then pick up after the mayhem. Toys are strewn every which way and the house is basically destroyed. I am happy there will be no guests today. :o)

This experience has changed me. I mean I will take so many things from this that will last throughout my life. For example, the cooking. I have learned how to make artichokes, roasted red peppers, lentil/vegetable soup, pasta carbonara, Italian meat balls (polpette), homemade tomato sauce ... Also, just the food in general ... I hope I can find these things when I get home. I LOVE the fresh prosciutto and mozzarella. I simply can't stand to eat without adding Parmesan cheese and olive oil to my food, and the balsamic vinegar is the best ever.

I worry that I just won't find these things in the US and if I do, they will be overpriced. And, the greens ... I love this vegetable called Finocchi. (Is this fennel?) It is spicy and delicious. The Italians eat the base of this vegetable raw with only olive oil and salt. The arugula here is the best arugula I have ever tasted! I also love this other type of lettuce the Italians call songino (lamb's lettuce). It is sweet and has a wonderful texture. And I definitely know what good olive oil is now. Don't even get me started on the wine ... ;) 

p.s. Nespresso is the way to go when it comes to coffee and I will promptly purchase a Nespresso machine when I return home.